The next note was by Jim. Mr Adie began reading:
Several thoughts are apparent, most dramatic and obvious is the part that clings to an idea, believed correct – Which you believe correct, Mr Adie interrupted. … especially if it is something discovered my me. It sees giving up ideas as fawning weakness and hanging on as strength …
Is it clear to everybody what it means?
Close to it are negative dreams and accompanying violent expressions.
I have to see that I’m like the lobster, I’m very stupid, I hang on even if I lose part of my body. The lobster holds on to the piece of meat and takes it, he shakes off his claw, and loses it rather than give up in defeat. Now you have to seek out and find instances which occur most frequently. For example, when you have an idea about something, but it’s proved wrong, you try to come more and more quickly to an acknowledgement of this fact, so that you can get free from the attachment to your pride and self-importance. There are phrases that appear automatically, like “Jim is never wrong.” See? You can’t be wrong, Jim, can’t be wrong. Something in his head says, “I can’t be wrong,” he sits in the chair and says “I can’t be wrong,” and gradually it changes and causes him to say, “I can never be wrong. I am in fact not wrong, I’m ok, in essence I’m Jim, I’m special.” This is the first obstacle to overcome.
Now, Rick. You’ll see that a lot of these are of course similar, they cover the same ground, so there’s repetition in some of these replies. Rick: One of the results of the chief feature, my chief feature must be what I consider to be my career, and the time and energy it takes up. All this is at the expense of what I know are important, such as my children. Also, I have little time for friendships, this latter maybe connected with other factors, such as secrecy regarding various conditions in my life.
You know, this is ground for thought, it’s very interesting set of statements you make. Who is to answer all that? You. You are the only one who can. And as far as your career taking up time and energy at the expense of what is important, your career is important. But it’s important that it should be in its right and proper place, not dominating your being. As it is, your being takes second, third, fourth, fifth place instead of first. Then, having your being, you could attend to your career in a suitable way.
Then in regard to secrecy, what are you hiding, or trying to hide, and who are you hiding from? You try to hide; you have to try and confront this and to … you have to be willing for your lies to be exposed to you, the ones that you want them to believe. You have to, otherwise you’re lost. Don’t be lost now, don’t be wandering, see the actual veracity and logic of what is being said. Be with it.
But you have not stated what you do wish, what is active in your attitude. You can never get anywhere by a negative observation only: these are the things that you lack, yes? Good. Well, what is positive in your life? What is active? What is positive?
Then find what most opposes towards this wish of yours, and what is needed to deal with this, the chief opposition. What most damages it? Then you’ll find how and when in you the obstacles occur, and then you can go against them and resist, and eventually overcome, and what then? Continue with all the rest.
It’s a picture of work; you have to summon yourself until you work. Imagine yourself, represent yourself in front a definite thing, you’ve got to drive it like a stake into the ground. There comes a moment when you have to lift a hammer and do that. This is what you have to do, every day with every thought. Take action – for you.
Does it seem to make sense? … Well follow, follow it. Now, now each one of these things, follow hard, don’t go on dreaming about yourself.
This is Algy’s: I have a very strong need for people to acknowledge me. Much of what I do, particularly at work, is coloured by this, I even dream about people praising me. This leads on the one hand to self-assurance and superiority, and on the other to powerful considering, dislike and self-pity.
Amid what’s there, which aspect of this so-called self-assurance and superiority do you find manifesting most frequently? What kind of self-assurance? When and how? On what occasion? So that you may confront it and make it to become passive, before dealing with the others.
The practicality of Mr Adie’s approach is not only clear but inspiring. I need to not just see my weaknesses and faults: that is the first step. But I also need to be able to evaluate the nature of those faults, and this requires me to be present to my feeling when I am present to them. If I do not have a feeling of myself in relation to these faults, I will not be at a loss when it comes to appreciating their quality and true nature; my approach will be lop-sidedly intellectual. Then, if I wish to change, I need to form a practical plan: which fault is the one I need to start with? Which manifests the most, costs me the greatest, ruins my life more than any other? And then the strategy – for that I call upon my knowledge, gained by my own efforts at self-observation, of when it manifests, what calls it up, what soothes it. Wisdom is called for to understand how to struggle against it, but one thing is certain, the more present I am when I see it, the more likely that I will see what to do.
Joseph Azize, 5 November 2019